I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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