what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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