where am i from again
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
