Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
