I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize