goodnight i made you a song goodbye
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
