i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
