we have pet lesbian snakes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize