How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
