I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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