Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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