Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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