her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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