Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
