You smell like stripper and shame
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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