Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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