yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
