Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
