I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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