i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
