the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
