Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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