I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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