drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
