plz talk dirty to me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
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But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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