that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
