Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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