so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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