If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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