I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
