I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And then my night got REAL pukey
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize