Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
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