good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
