so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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