You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
thus making me awesome and them whores
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
