I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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