I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
