Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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