i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
