yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
