Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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