similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
