Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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