plz talk dirty to me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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