You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dignity is for republicans.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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