Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
