some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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