She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
