dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
