dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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