arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
