I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
