i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
