Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.

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(816): View more from Missouri

If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.

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(813): View more from Florida

im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.

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(618): View more from Illinois

His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?

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(801): View more from Utah

Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!

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