no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
