Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
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He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
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I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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