i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize