I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
