If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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