we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
