I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
